existence.future..

Have you ever wondered about your exsistence in this world?

seriously... im a ponderer i think a lot and sometimes my thoughts dwell into a lot of aspects of the purpose of my existence on this planet, there is a fire in my soul that doesn't die, there is this want, need to achieve more than i was meant to do, to make a difference to the world that i live in.

But then again.. am i a dreamer? As a 20 year old young woman , am i expecting my self to create wonders.. i often wonder if there are more people like me out there who feel lost and uncomfortable and feel like they have been restricted from unleashing their true selves?

just the other day...I saw a baby with a golden ribbon around her head. and i kept observing the twinkle in her eyes and the innocence in her smile and it almost brought tears to my eyes.. being next to her made me feel so impure , I have to admit i was jealous of her.. she didn't have to worry about which lecherous man was watching her, whether she was dressed appropriately?, how was she to earn money? .. such a carefree and lovely existence.The thought that hurt was that one day that innocence will be lost and that she will be like any one of us, in this terrible wicked world , helpless and fighting for her survival. making sure that she is safe at all time, having to worry about creating an identity for herself and fighting it out in this deep dark world where one has to throw away all his values and morals and kill and cut anothers throat to get forward in this race of money ,wealth and fame.

And then i ponder, is this what i have come to? Is this why i exsist, to have a fancy car and a 6 figure salary and handsome man by my side and be selfish and turn my self away from the real world, which is where i should be!...


Just in case,you have started thinking that i am a highly pessmist girl,who always tends to think bout the big,black,dark,evil world then no..it isnt that.on the contrary,i think the world is rosy and beautiful and i can see and feel the sushine also..but its just the on-off bouts which take me to such paths which would lead me somewhere..which are undiscovered..n which i am scared to discover..

-the girl.

back,..with a bang (?)

yes, it has to be a big hi, that too in block letters.have been absconding for god knows how many days..
but now surely back with some things which i gave a thought to, realised n felt.coming up soon. till then..
:) ..just a smile.

- the girl.