the lemon tree..

I'm sitting here in the boring room
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my time
I got nothing to do
I'm hanging around
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder

I'm driving around in my car
I'm driving too fast
I'm driving too far
I'd like to change my point of view
I feel so lonelyI'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder
I wonder how I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue, blue sky
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree

I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning ,turning, turning around
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree

I'm sitting here
I miss the power
I'd like to go out taking a shower
But there's a heavy cloud inside my head
I feel so tired
Put myself into bed
Well, nothing ever happens and I wonder

Isolation is not good for me
Isolation I don't want to sit on the lemon-tree
I'm steppin' around in the desert of joy
Baby anyhow I'll get another toy
And everything will happen and you wonder

I wonder how, I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue, blue sky
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree

I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning ,turning, turning around
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree

And I wonder, wonder.. I wonder how, I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue, blue sky
And all that I can see, and all that I can see, and all that I can see
Is just a yellow lemon-tree..

this was written a few weeks back.don't ask me what did i see as the lemon tree or the blue,blue sky.its inexplicable.and mebbe it doesn't exist.what exists lies in front of u.my imagination.my poem. - Syd Barrett (Pink Floyd), 1995

- the girl.

Conch

She walked along the sandy shore..lazily...lost in her own world. Without too many concerns or thoughts to weigh down her mind..she was at peace.She felt one with the ocean and its warm breeze.Absent-mindedly she dug up shells from beneth the sand with her toes and examined them. The colourful ones she pocketed..the less fortunate ones were returned to their resting place beneath the waves.
After collecting nearly a dozen exotic shells (her necklace would be the talk of the class) she was returning back home when she struck her foot against it. It was the most beautiful shell she had ever seen.

Pearly white and shiny.In her mind she thanked the little critter for having vacated and left her with his home. She picked it up and dusted the sand off it. Too big to fit into her pocket with the rest of them, she carried it in her hand.

Then a thought passed thruough her mind. Didnt they say that you could hear the heartbeat of the ocean if you listened closely to a conch? She pressed the shell to her ear, closed her eyes and absorbed the sound.A part of her knew that the sounds she was hearing was nothing more than the echo of blood being pumped through her ears. The rest of her scorned the learned part of her and delighted in the sounds of the ocean. She imagined that she heard each wave as it broke upon the shore and lethargically retreated back from where it came. She imagined that she heard the breeze moving gently over the water and meeting the land. She imagined she heard the high-pitched scream of a girl....

Immediately she took the shell away from her ear and cursed under her breath.My mind is playing tricks on her,she thought.Thats what you get for being in the sun for too long.Instinct told her to toss the shell away and return home as fast as she could. Sadly following her instincts wasnt her forte. Curiosity had already got the better of her as she drew the shell close to her ear once again.

This time the voice was crystal clear.In an instant the waves seemed to have died away leaving the ocean still as death and the warm breeze had been replaced by a cold wind that made her shiver. She was all alone on the beach. Just her, the vast expanse of the black ocean, the cursed shell and the scream which was quickly reaching its blood curdling crescendo.
She was paralysed...She used as much force as she could muster but could not move the shell away from her ear. It had taken control over her.She was its slave. As her knees gave way she could do nothing but lie there on the wet sand, tears running down her sandy cheeks, with the shell pressed against her ear. The scream had engulfed her. The last thing she heard before the darkness embraced her was a second voice. A voice that was much more familiar to her. A scream emitting from the back of her own throat...

A lifeguard found her lying cold and lifeless on the sand. The ambulance was sent for as he fervently tried to breathe life into her dead lungs.Within a few minutes he knew that she had passed on to the afterlife and said a small prayer over her body. Accompanying the body in the vehicle to the hospital he looked at the shell which had been pressed to her ear hard enough to draw blood. With tears in his eyes he held it up to his ear and tried to listen to the ocean that they had left behind.

- the girl.

personal updates..

Since some time, this blog has remained uncharacteristically silent on my personal half, thanks to my having been busy over a lot of small things. Clock has moved a few cycles and a lot has happened in the meanwhile. Also, I have been getting some complaints offlate about my having turned into a critic all the way. Well, I haven't forgotten that this blog has been my alter-ego. I have put my arm around its shoulders everytime I had something to talk about. And a lot of it has been personal issues as well. Somehow, the warmth of those personal details has been absent from here. This post is a small positive effort to correct that mistake. It's a purposeless post without any literary, cinematic or social content - an effort only to put my arm around a few shoulders.

About 15 days ago, I saw two of the best films ever made - Nagrik and Ajantrik by Ritwik Ghatak. Watching the movies left me speechless on one hand and on the other, I could see why they speak so highly of Ghatak. FTII students rave about him and his work is considered a landmark in Indian Cinema, not without reason I must say. Such is the beauty of his work that it can humble even Satyajit Ray, I am sure. I will try to pen down some of my thoughts about his films soon enough.

But really,with movies like these,it feels much lighter... and I feel like a free human. A lot of my time used to go wasted for what was not offerring me much positive result. Sometimes, you are only too happy to get rid of something that sheer inertia causes to stick onto you.Over to new horizons, new ways of life, new people and new places...

now,was this post really personal?whatever be the answer..think i can improvise ..the mere mention of the realisation of lack of 'personal footing' will give a touch to my future posts..lets see!!till then,i shud be giving some hearty sentiments to the boy and receiving something 'ice' y in return!!..he's been achieveing things..though his modest self wont ever admit that..but small achievements,as small as small mails, lead to big achievements..don't they??

-the girl.

Walk

I have always wanted to take a long walk in the woods.Walking under leafy canopies on a bright morning with sunshine filtering through like golden beams, just the thought of it envelops me in warm serenity, especially at times when I have those special mood-snitchings. Sometimes it happens so that I start living in my dreams. And then when reality tries to wake me up I don’t want to open my eyes. Like a little child who so innocently believes in love and goodness.As one grows in life one realizes that for dreams to come true, one needs to do more than just believe in one’s dreams. One realizes that it’s easier to dream but it takes a lot of faith, time and effort to nourish a dream so that it becomes reality. And then one loses hope eventually burying the dream deep inside like a cherished treasure from childhood. It’s hard to do that. Bury your dream. It’s almost like when your dog dies.But, tough though it may be, I want to make my dreams into reality. A very simple poem with no artistic words but conveys lot many things..


Follow your dreams
Wherever they lead
Don’t be distracted by
Less worthy needs…

Shelter them, nourish them,
Help them to grow
Let your heart hold them down
Deep where dreams go…

Follow your dreams,
Pursue them with haste
Life is too precious
Too fleeting to waste...

Be faithful, be loyal
Then all your life through
The dreams that you follow
Will keep coming true…!

Someday I’ll walk in the woods and share memories of times when my dreams came true…

-the girl.

Out Of the World

The tiny laughter,
the wailing cry,
The never-ending innocence of time unbound.
The warm sleep,
the winsome smile,
Make the heart lovingly pound.

Those soft hands,
those chubby feet,
The sweet face of an angel
Words fail to describe the purity,
Of this god-sent cradle

She looks into the space beyond,
The sun is blinding no more,
The pupils cease to react,
The colours of life are gone.

Yet when she lies in the broken crib,
Indifferent and carefree,
Deserted by kin, embraced by aliens,
“Possessed” by nobody

Why does the heart cry out?
When the mind couldn’t care less,Why do the eyes,
those sightless blue eyes,
Still make you feel “OUT OF THE WORLD”, Yes…

again..would like to say that there are some things for which one has no explanation..like this poem for example..u cannot really describe the state of mind u have been in giving no comments as an answer for questions like saying 'what made u write this..'..its just bout feeling it and penning it down..the boy has always been highly active when it comes to blogging but me due to those lack of knowledge n ideas still fumble..hope u adjust with me,boy..

-the girl.