at last I can see..
life has been patiently waiting for me..
and I know there are no guarantees..
but, I'm not alone.
there comes a time in everyone's life,
when all you can see are the years passing by..
and I have made up my mind,
that those days are gone.
I sold what I could..
and packed what I couldn't..
stopped to fill up on my way out of town.
I've loved like I should..
but lived like I shouldn't..
I had to lose everything to find out.
Maybe forgiveness will find me,
somewhere down this road..
I'm Moving On
I'm Moving On
I'm Moving On..
ps: i wrote this poem after my 12th std. board exams,during the vacations. This is a live example of certain things which come to your mind even before you have experienced them and your mind,already reaches to a conclusion and i say that now,coz after two years i have started experiencing a bit of it.
-the girl.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
an angel by the furnace
Neha. The most beautiful girl in the colony. Everywhere she went she was noticed, for those expressive eyes that widened at the sight of chocolates and ice creams, those chattering lips, that bouncy hair, and the ever dancing feet. She was a whiff of fresh air around, the sun shine on a somber winter. She was the world to her parents and her brother and her world revolved around a small place called home. Neha. 6 years old.
“Love you sweetie” Aarthi, Neha’s mother, said as she got home from school.
“Love you too mamma”, Neha said as she dropped her bag on the couch. She walked over to the table to her mom. She kept moving her hair that fell on her face time and again.
“Is the long hair bothering you honey?”
“No mamma. I love it. Preethi has like that”
“That is why I let you grow your hair” Aarthi said.
“I’m hungry mamma” she said and sat on the table.
“Here is your glass of milk and your favorite chocolate cake”
Neha was all chirpy as she relished her evening snack. She narrated all that had happened that day at school. Her mom sat near her wondering how so much could have happened in one day in her daughter’s life, that too when she was just in class 1.
“Mamma! Are you listening to me? Don’t you think Tinku was bad to me? I don’t like him”
“I am listening Neha. Tinku must be a nice kid. You guys should not fight with each other”
By then Neha had finished her snack and she was all set to change her dress.
“I want the red frock today” she ordered.
“Whatever you want mam” Aarthi changed her dress.
“It is time for play. I’m going out mamma. Can I play for extra 15 minutes today please?” she pleaded.
“No Neha. It would be dark. Get in soon and don’t go out of the colony compound”
“I promise not to go out mamma. Love you mamma”
“Love you honey”
Neha went out to play with her colony friends. The colony grounds were usually filled with kids of all ages with parents sitting on the stone benches watching their kids play. Aarthi occasionally accompanied Neha, otherwise Neha was just fine playing with the other kids without her mom’s supervision. Kids run helter-skelter, beat one another, play all sorts of games, scream, roll in the mud, jump into puddles, and everything that gives them the pleasure of being away from home and school.
Neha was always sure that she got to know the time from someone there. She would get back home before 6 because her dad and brother would be home after 6. She would love to see them come home. She would hug her dad and her brother and she would want to tell them every evening how much she loved them and how much she missed them the whole day. She did not know a world other then these three people.
She sat on her study table and began to read her book watching at the door every minute. After a while she heard the screeching noise of her brother Nitin’s bicycle. She jumped out of the table and ran to the door. Nitin stood there with his school bag and lunch kit waiting to hug his little sister. Neha ran to him and hugged.
“I love you bhayya” she said and hugged him. She did not care how dirty he looked after school, how unclean his shirt was. All she knew was her brother behind that dirty appearance.
“Come bhayya, mamma has chocolate cakes today”
She went back to her study table. She continued to read and kept looking at the door again.
“Papa is here” she jumped out of the table and ran to the door as she heard the car door slam. She jumped up to her dad Rahul.
“I missed you papa. Why are you so late?”
“Sorry Neha. I will try to keep up the time”. Rahul made it a point that he was home soon for his family. If ever he was late he would make sure he called home and informed and also talked to Neha a few words. This was a common code of conduct between Aarthi and Rahul.
At the diner table.
“Neha, how was school today?” her dad asked.
“Nice papa. Tinku pulled my hair today. Please tell him it pains”
“Sure honey, I will tell him not to hurt you” Rahul smiled.
“How come Neha tells everything that happens in class and Nitin never utters a word?” Aarthi asked.
“You expect me to give you an account of events? Mamma, I’m in class 6 and I think I can handle things myself” he said.
“But you are still a kid to us Nitin, so why not share your day with us. We would love to hear about it”
Nitin was silent.
“Nitin, we are not compelling you, but you sure would feel good to talk about it. So try. Now finish off everything on your plate. When it comes to food, I still would love to be a Hitler” Aarthi said and walked into the kitchen.
“Mamma” Nitin called out.
“Yeah?”
“Love you!” he said.
“Love you too my sweetie pie”
“Mamma” Neha called out.
“I love you too mamma” she wanted to confirm.
“Oh honey, I love you too”
That night, in the bed.
“Mamma, can I ask you something?” Nitin asked.
“Yeah” she said as she was putting Neha to sleep next to him.
“Today, in school, I thanked one of the teachers for clearing a doubt of mine. I also told her that I love her. Why didn’t she respond to that? Does she hate me?”
“No Nitin. It is no harm to tell people that we love them. Some people are still not open to such a statement from a kid. Your dad and I tell you kids that we love you quite often to let you know that you are the world to us. You respond to that. We hug you to give you the warmth of love. It is a way of showing a person how much they mean to you. You were thankful to your teacher and you told her so, but she didn’t take it well. Don’t worry about that”
“Ok mamma. Good night. Love you” Nitin said and pulled over the comfort.
Neha closed her eyes after she had overheard the conversation.
A simple family. A simple day. Simple events. A simple life. Day after day.
Next day.
“Mamma, I’m home!” Neha said as she dropped her bag on the table.
“Hi honey! Listen, I have to go to bhayya’s school for a meeting. You have your snacks and drink and go play. I will be back before 6. If I’m a bit late, you can stay at Rita aunty’s house. Is that ok with you?”
“Ok mamma” Neha said as she finished off her cake and drink.
In 15 minutes Neha was dressed up and ready to go to play. She walked out of the house and towards the ground. All of a sudden she ran back home and by then Aarthi had left. Neha was disappointed that she couldn’t tell her mom that she loved her. She was disappointed.
She joined the other kids in the block and forgot about her worry. She was playing on the swing looking at the other kids waiting for their turns. She loved to play on the swing. One of the boys who were waiting for his turn turned impatient and stopped the swing abruptly. Neha fell down on her knees. She couldn’t tolerate the pain and began to cry. One of the ladies around came running to her and helped her stand up. The kids stood around her looking at her bruised knees.
“Don’t cry Neha, it is just a bruise. You are fine” the lady comforted her.
“Mamma” Neha cried.
“What happened?” Prashanth asked. He was a college student who was playing basket ball close by.
“She fell off the swing. Do you have cotton and medicines in the games room?” the lady asked.
“Yes” he said and carried Neha to the games room. He washed off the blood, applied medicine and put some cotton on the bruises. By then Neha had calmed down and she missed her mamma a lot.
“That is it. Now you are ready to go back and play” Prashanth said.
“I want to go to mamma” she said with tears still brimming.
“Ok, come let me carry you home” he said and carried her to her house.
Aarthi had not come back.
“Now what do we do kiddo?” Prashanth asked as he let her down.Neha was all the more worried and she sat down at the closed door.
“Don’t worry Neha. Mamma will be here any moment. Till then come let us watch Pogo at my place” he said and lifted her.
“No” she said and sat down there with a stubborn face.
Prashanth sat next to her.“Ok, I will wait here too” he said.
She was silent. She was angry with her mamma for being late.
“I’m going home now. Going to watch Pogo and also eat chocolate ice cream” he said and stood up.
Neha looked up and slowly lifted her hands. He carried her to her house.
Aarthi and Nitin came home at 6.30 PM. Aarthi went to Rita’s house to pick up Neha. Rita’s house was locked. She ran to the ground which was almost empty. She asked the few kids who were around and they did not know anything. Aarthi panicked. She ran to the security guard who also had no information. She ran frantically back home to call Rahul and then she saw Neha walking into the house. She ran behind her.
Neha walked to the couch and sat there grumpily.
“Honey, where were you?” Aarthi asked and then noticed the cotton wrapped on her knees.
“Neha. What happened?” she asked and ran to her.
“Akash pushed me from the swing” she said. She didn’t sound fine.
“Awww. Who put the medicine?”
“Prashant bhayya”
“Does it pain a lot Neha?”
Neha nodded her head. She didn’t cry although she was brimming from inside.
Nitin sat next to her little sister and hugged her. Neha immediately took off his hand and walked to her study desk. She didn’t look up the door. She pretended to read.
“Neha, you want something to eat? Maybe chocolates?” Aarthi asked as she walked over to the refrigerator.
“No, I just had ice creams”
“Where? And where were you all this time?”
“At Prashanth bhayya’s house”
“Honey, are you alright?”Neha nodded her head.
“Come here, give mamma a hug. You will be fine. The pain will be gone tomorrow” Aarthi spread her arms.
Neha didn’t run to her. She didn’t move from her study table. Aarthi walked over to her and sat beside her small table.
“Sorry sweetie. Sorry for being late. Come to mamma” she said and pulled her out.
Neha wouldn’t budge. Just then Rahul walked in.
“Hello people” he said with his arms up in the air.
“You seem all excited today” Aarthi said.
“Yes. I’ve got the employee of the month award”
“Congratulations!” Aarthi said and got up from Neha’s study table.
“You got a prize papa?” Nitin asked.
“Yeah, something like that” Rahul said.
“Why is my little angel so silent today?” he said and lifted Neha from her desk.
He noticed legs.
“What happened?”Neha did not respond. Aarthi told her about it.
“She is angry with me and wouldn’t want to talk to me” Aarthi said.
“Sweetie, see mamma is crying. Talk to her” Rahul said.
Neha got off from her dad and walked to the couch. She put her head on the pillow and closed her eyes. Her silence that evening disturbed the family.
That night, in the bed.
“Neha, are you still angry with me?” Aarthi whispered.
Neha closed her eyes on hearing that question.
“I love you honey. Please talk to me” Aarthi said and kissed her.
Neha quickly wiped her cheek. She detested the kiss. She didn’t open her eyes. After a while, Aarthi walked away closing the door behind. Neha opened her eyes and saw Nitin sleeping next to her. She got off the bed and slept on the floor. She cried within. She trembled. She missed mamma and papa.
The next morning, Aarthi thought Neha had rolled off the bed. The entire day Aarthi was disturbed about Neha’s silence. She was waiting for her to get back from school.
“Neha honey! Love you! See what mamma made for you today” she said and looked at the table.
Neha walked into the living room, dropped her bag on the couch as usual. Unusually she climbed up the couch and slept on it. Aarthi walked over to her.
“Are you not feeling well?” she asked and touched her forehead.
Neha closed her eyes.“Neha, you must talk to me” Aarthi shook her and Neha did not budge. Aarthi sat next her and let Neha sleep. It was 6. Neha did not wake up to the screeching noise of Nitin’s bicycle. She also did not wake up to Rahul’s car. All the three sat around her looking at the beautiful girl sleep.
“Something must be eating her mind” Aarthi said.
“Should we take her to the doctor?” Rahul asked.
“I’m worried Rahul” Aarthi said and held his hand.
“Maybe she was worried after falling from the swing. We weren’t around. Maybe she is angry about that”
“Whatever it is, I want my baby to talk to me” Aarthi began to cry.Neha woke up and saw her family, her world around her.She immediately hugged Aarthi.
“Love you sweetie” Rahul said.
Neha looked at Rahul.
“I don’t love you” she said.
None of them expected that.
“Are you angry with me?” Rahul asked as she tried to take her from Aarthi.
“I love you too Neha. Come let us go play” Nitin said.
“I don’t love you bhayya” she said.
She got off from Rahul and sat down on her study table. She crossed her arms on the table and buried her face in it. Her family stood there looking at her fighting something within. They were helpless.
“I won’t go and play any more” Neha said her face still buried in her arms.
Aarthi got up to walk up to her while Rahul pulled her back and asked her to stay put so that Neha spoke some more.
“Ok Neha. You don’t have to go to the ground to play from tomorrow” Rahul affirmed.
“Tell Akash not to push me while I’m on the swing”
“Sure” Rahul was feeling better and a smile escaped from his face. Aarthi sat on the couch and her worries were draining.
“Tell Prashant bhayya not to do that again to me”
“What?” Aarthi asked.
“Prashant bhayya did bad things to me. He removed my dress while I was eating ice cream. He made me do bad things to him. I didn’t like it”
Hell froze. Rahul and Aarthi were beginning to feel uneasy. Neha looked up at her parents who were already frozen.
“Mamma. I told him I love him and I hugged him. You told me this is a way of being thankful. And he hugged me and told me he loved me too and did bad things to me. He kissed me all over. He hurt me. I don’t want to love anyone mamma. I don’t want to hug you” she said and got down the study table and walked to Aarthi.
Aarthi carried her and hugged her to her bosom. Rahul looked at Neha with tears brimming. Nitin was not sure what was happening. Aarthi felt a chillness running down her spine.
Neha, turned around as she put her face on her mother’s bosom and said, “Papa, tell Prashanth bhayya not to do it. It pains."
Rahul looked at her little adopted daughter helplessly.
A simple life was shattered beyond recovery. None of them slept that night except for Neha. She preferred to sleep on the floor.
---------------
Neha was formed in my mind after reading this. I wasn't at ease to end the story like that, but this is to all those Nehas who have gone through this. I suggest you read that post by Satheesh. Something has to be done... Something...
-the girl.
“Love you sweetie” Aarthi, Neha’s mother, said as she got home from school.
“Love you too mamma”, Neha said as she dropped her bag on the couch. She walked over to the table to her mom. She kept moving her hair that fell on her face time and again.
“Is the long hair bothering you honey?”
“No mamma. I love it. Preethi has like that”
“That is why I let you grow your hair” Aarthi said.
“I’m hungry mamma” she said and sat on the table.
“Here is your glass of milk and your favorite chocolate cake”
Neha was all chirpy as she relished her evening snack. She narrated all that had happened that day at school. Her mom sat near her wondering how so much could have happened in one day in her daughter’s life, that too when she was just in class 1.
“Mamma! Are you listening to me? Don’t you think Tinku was bad to me? I don’t like him”
“I am listening Neha. Tinku must be a nice kid. You guys should not fight with each other”
By then Neha had finished her snack and she was all set to change her dress.
“I want the red frock today” she ordered.
“Whatever you want mam” Aarthi changed her dress.
“It is time for play. I’m going out mamma. Can I play for extra 15 minutes today please?” she pleaded.
“No Neha. It would be dark. Get in soon and don’t go out of the colony compound”
“I promise not to go out mamma. Love you mamma”
“Love you honey”
Neha went out to play with her colony friends. The colony grounds were usually filled with kids of all ages with parents sitting on the stone benches watching their kids play. Aarthi occasionally accompanied Neha, otherwise Neha was just fine playing with the other kids without her mom’s supervision. Kids run helter-skelter, beat one another, play all sorts of games, scream, roll in the mud, jump into puddles, and everything that gives them the pleasure of being away from home and school.
Neha was always sure that she got to know the time from someone there. She would get back home before 6 because her dad and brother would be home after 6. She would love to see them come home. She would hug her dad and her brother and she would want to tell them every evening how much she loved them and how much she missed them the whole day. She did not know a world other then these three people.
She sat on her study table and began to read her book watching at the door every minute. After a while she heard the screeching noise of her brother Nitin’s bicycle. She jumped out of the table and ran to the door. Nitin stood there with his school bag and lunch kit waiting to hug his little sister. Neha ran to him and hugged.
“I love you bhayya” she said and hugged him. She did not care how dirty he looked after school, how unclean his shirt was. All she knew was her brother behind that dirty appearance.
“Come bhayya, mamma has chocolate cakes today”
She went back to her study table. She continued to read and kept looking at the door again.
“Papa is here” she jumped out of the table and ran to the door as she heard the car door slam. She jumped up to her dad Rahul.
“I missed you papa. Why are you so late?”
“Sorry Neha. I will try to keep up the time”. Rahul made it a point that he was home soon for his family. If ever he was late he would make sure he called home and informed and also talked to Neha a few words. This was a common code of conduct between Aarthi and Rahul.
At the diner table.
“Neha, how was school today?” her dad asked.
“Nice papa. Tinku pulled my hair today. Please tell him it pains”
“Sure honey, I will tell him not to hurt you” Rahul smiled.
“How come Neha tells everything that happens in class and Nitin never utters a word?” Aarthi asked.
“You expect me to give you an account of events? Mamma, I’m in class 6 and I think I can handle things myself” he said.
“But you are still a kid to us Nitin, so why not share your day with us. We would love to hear about it”
Nitin was silent.
“Nitin, we are not compelling you, but you sure would feel good to talk about it. So try. Now finish off everything on your plate. When it comes to food, I still would love to be a Hitler” Aarthi said and walked into the kitchen.
“Mamma” Nitin called out.
“Yeah?”
“Love you!” he said.
“Love you too my sweetie pie”
“Mamma” Neha called out.
“I love you too mamma” she wanted to confirm.
“Oh honey, I love you too”
That night, in the bed.
“Mamma, can I ask you something?” Nitin asked.
“Yeah” she said as she was putting Neha to sleep next to him.
“Today, in school, I thanked one of the teachers for clearing a doubt of mine. I also told her that I love her. Why didn’t she respond to that? Does she hate me?”
“No Nitin. It is no harm to tell people that we love them. Some people are still not open to such a statement from a kid. Your dad and I tell you kids that we love you quite often to let you know that you are the world to us. You respond to that. We hug you to give you the warmth of love. It is a way of showing a person how much they mean to you. You were thankful to your teacher and you told her so, but she didn’t take it well. Don’t worry about that”
“Ok mamma. Good night. Love you” Nitin said and pulled over the comfort.
Neha closed her eyes after she had overheard the conversation.
A simple family. A simple day. Simple events. A simple life. Day after day.
Next day.
“Mamma, I’m home!” Neha said as she dropped her bag on the table.
“Hi honey! Listen, I have to go to bhayya’s school for a meeting. You have your snacks and drink and go play. I will be back before 6. If I’m a bit late, you can stay at Rita aunty’s house. Is that ok with you?”
“Ok mamma” Neha said as she finished off her cake and drink.
In 15 minutes Neha was dressed up and ready to go to play. She walked out of the house and towards the ground. All of a sudden she ran back home and by then Aarthi had left. Neha was disappointed that she couldn’t tell her mom that she loved her. She was disappointed.
She joined the other kids in the block and forgot about her worry. She was playing on the swing looking at the other kids waiting for their turns. She loved to play on the swing. One of the boys who were waiting for his turn turned impatient and stopped the swing abruptly. Neha fell down on her knees. She couldn’t tolerate the pain and began to cry. One of the ladies around came running to her and helped her stand up. The kids stood around her looking at her bruised knees.
“Don’t cry Neha, it is just a bruise. You are fine” the lady comforted her.
“Mamma” Neha cried.
“What happened?” Prashanth asked. He was a college student who was playing basket ball close by.
“She fell off the swing. Do you have cotton and medicines in the games room?” the lady asked.
“Yes” he said and carried Neha to the games room. He washed off the blood, applied medicine and put some cotton on the bruises. By then Neha had calmed down and she missed her mamma a lot.
“That is it. Now you are ready to go back and play” Prashanth said.
“I want to go to mamma” she said with tears still brimming.
“Ok, come let me carry you home” he said and carried her to her house.
Aarthi had not come back.
“Now what do we do kiddo?” Prashanth asked as he let her down.Neha was all the more worried and she sat down at the closed door.
“Don’t worry Neha. Mamma will be here any moment. Till then come let us watch Pogo at my place” he said and lifted her.
“No” she said and sat down there with a stubborn face.
Prashanth sat next to her.“Ok, I will wait here too” he said.
She was silent. She was angry with her mamma for being late.
“I’m going home now. Going to watch Pogo and also eat chocolate ice cream” he said and stood up.
Neha looked up and slowly lifted her hands. He carried her to her house.
Aarthi and Nitin came home at 6.30 PM. Aarthi went to Rita’s house to pick up Neha. Rita’s house was locked. She ran to the ground which was almost empty. She asked the few kids who were around and they did not know anything. Aarthi panicked. She ran to the security guard who also had no information. She ran frantically back home to call Rahul and then she saw Neha walking into the house. She ran behind her.
Neha walked to the couch and sat there grumpily.
“Honey, where were you?” Aarthi asked and then noticed the cotton wrapped on her knees.
“Neha. What happened?” she asked and ran to her.
“Akash pushed me from the swing” she said. She didn’t sound fine.
“Awww. Who put the medicine?”
“Prashant bhayya”
“Does it pain a lot Neha?”
Neha nodded her head. She didn’t cry although she was brimming from inside.
Nitin sat next to her little sister and hugged her. Neha immediately took off his hand and walked to her study desk. She didn’t look up the door. She pretended to read.
“Neha, you want something to eat? Maybe chocolates?” Aarthi asked as she walked over to the refrigerator.
“No, I just had ice creams”
“Where? And where were you all this time?”
“At Prashanth bhayya’s house”
“Honey, are you alright?”Neha nodded her head.
“Come here, give mamma a hug. You will be fine. The pain will be gone tomorrow” Aarthi spread her arms.
Neha didn’t run to her. She didn’t move from her study table. Aarthi walked over to her and sat beside her small table.
“Sorry sweetie. Sorry for being late. Come to mamma” she said and pulled her out.
Neha wouldn’t budge. Just then Rahul walked in.
“Hello people” he said with his arms up in the air.
“You seem all excited today” Aarthi said.
“Yes. I’ve got the employee of the month award”
“Congratulations!” Aarthi said and got up from Neha’s study table.
“You got a prize papa?” Nitin asked.
“Yeah, something like that” Rahul said.
“Why is my little angel so silent today?” he said and lifted Neha from her desk.
He noticed legs.
“What happened?”Neha did not respond. Aarthi told her about it.
“She is angry with me and wouldn’t want to talk to me” Aarthi said.
“Sweetie, see mamma is crying. Talk to her” Rahul said.
Neha got off from her dad and walked to the couch. She put her head on the pillow and closed her eyes. Her silence that evening disturbed the family.
That night, in the bed.
“Neha, are you still angry with me?” Aarthi whispered.
Neha closed her eyes on hearing that question.
“I love you honey. Please talk to me” Aarthi said and kissed her.
Neha quickly wiped her cheek. She detested the kiss. She didn’t open her eyes. After a while, Aarthi walked away closing the door behind. Neha opened her eyes and saw Nitin sleeping next to her. She got off the bed and slept on the floor. She cried within. She trembled. She missed mamma and papa.
The next morning, Aarthi thought Neha had rolled off the bed. The entire day Aarthi was disturbed about Neha’s silence. She was waiting for her to get back from school.
“Neha honey! Love you! See what mamma made for you today” she said and looked at the table.
Neha walked into the living room, dropped her bag on the couch as usual. Unusually she climbed up the couch and slept on it. Aarthi walked over to her.
“Are you not feeling well?” she asked and touched her forehead.
Neha closed her eyes.“Neha, you must talk to me” Aarthi shook her and Neha did not budge. Aarthi sat next her and let Neha sleep. It was 6. Neha did not wake up to the screeching noise of Nitin’s bicycle. She also did not wake up to Rahul’s car. All the three sat around her looking at the beautiful girl sleep.
“Something must be eating her mind” Aarthi said.
“Should we take her to the doctor?” Rahul asked.
“I’m worried Rahul” Aarthi said and held his hand.
“Maybe she was worried after falling from the swing. We weren’t around. Maybe she is angry about that”
“Whatever it is, I want my baby to talk to me” Aarthi began to cry.Neha woke up and saw her family, her world around her.She immediately hugged Aarthi.
“Love you sweetie” Rahul said.
Neha looked at Rahul.
“I don’t love you” she said.
None of them expected that.
“Are you angry with me?” Rahul asked as she tried to take her from Aarthi.
“I love you too Neha. Come let us go play” Nitin said.
“I don’t love you bhayya” she said.
She got off from Rahul and sat down on her study table. She crossed her arms on the table and buried her face in it. Her family stood there looking at her fighting something within. They were helpless.
“I won’t go and play any more” Neha said her face still buried in her arms.
Aarthi got up to walk up to her while Rahul pulled her back and asked her to stay put so that Neha spoke some more.
“Ok Neha. You don’t have to go to the ground to play from tomorrow” Rahul affirmed.
“Tell Akash not to push me while I’m on the swing”
“Sure” Rahul was feeling better and a smile escaped from his face. Aarthi sat on the couch and her worries were draining.
“Tell Prashant bhayya not to do that again to me”
“What?” Aarthi asked.
“Prashant bhayya did bad things to me. He removed my dress while I was eating ice cream. He made me do bad things to him. I didn’t like it”
Hell froze. Rahul and Aarthi were beginning to feel uneasy. Neha looked up at her parents who were already frozen.
“Mamma. I told him I love him and I hugged him. You told me this is a way of being thankful. And he hugged me and told me he loved me too and did bad things to me. He kissed me all over. He hurt me. I don’t want to love anyone mamma. I don’t want to hug you” she said and got down the study table and walked to Aarthi.
Aarthi carried her and hugged her to her bosom. Rahul looked at Neha with tears brimming. Nitin was not sure what was happening. Aarthi felt a chillness running down her spine.
Neha, turned around as she put her face on her mother’s bosom and said, “Papa, tell Prashanth bhayya not to do it. It pains."
Rahul looked at her little adopted daughter helplessly.
A simple life was shattered beyond recovery. None of them slept that night except for Neha. She preferred to sleep on the floor.
---------------
Neha was formed in my mind after reading this. I wasn't at ease to end the story like that, but this is to all those Nehas who have gone through this. I suggest you read that post by Satheesh. Something has to be done... Something...
-the girl.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
sweet,sweet surrender
Its been so long since I last saw a sunset that I'd forgotten how pretty it is when the sun sets behind the hills and the glow lingers for hours to come. When each, and I mean EACH aspect of life seems to just crumble away, when everything collapses like a house of cards, when pain moves beyond desolation... is that when the phoenix rises?
I promised to fight. But I didn't read the small print. Did I promise to fight everyone's battles? All the time? Lesson learnt = ALWAYS read the small print!
Someday I'll go to sleep because I want to and not because fatigue takes over... Someday I'll wake up beacuse I want to and not because I have to... Someday I'll not be sad... Someday there'll be sweet surrender...Because beyond desolation, hope is lost and right now, that's all I have...
-the girl.
I promised to fight. But I didn't read the small print. Did I promise to fight everyone's battles? All the time? Lesson learnt = ALWAYS read the small print!
Someday I'll go to sleep because I want to and not because fatigue takes over... Someday I'll wake up beacuse I want to and not because I have to... Someday I'll not be sad... Someday there'll be sweet surrender...Because beyond desolation, hope is lost and right now, that's all I have...
-the girl.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
A Time of 'Their' Lives.....
Even though the action of football has always intrigued me..I fail to understand why the male department regards people who are clueless bout what footbaal is all about,or who is in which team..(and of course,who has the hottest babe next to himself!) as something unearthly giving looks which makes one (yeah,the females..mostly.) feel like getting rolled up inside her own shell by the inferiority complex!
I was talking about the whole issue to a friend who got married last year in April..and whose poor wife was cursing herself as to why did she affirm for the wedding to be held on a FIFA year,and that too prior to the World Cup..I could come to a few conclusions which my friend declared..the conditions(the only conditions,rather) in which the men would watch the matches..and how their girlfriends or wives should not be interfering (here,genuinely disturbing..)in the matches,with their television sets..and so on and so forth..I m just penning down the bold and the blatant statements..(kindly shift back on time..a scene of say 8th june'06 and imagine as if the guy is himself claiming the following..
I am alive and kickin....But its June 8th and that means World Cup is almost here....wooohooo!!
Please forward this to your girlfriends, wives, etc.
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
8. Please do NOT ask me the rules of soccer when the game is on! If you really want to know, look it up on the Internet. The computer is all yours when the game is on (only when the game is on). And don't ask silly, stupid questions like "Oh, why is he walking out the field?" (He got a red card, dammit).
9. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
10. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go, b) I will not go, and c) I will not go.
11. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game and his television and sound system is better than mine, we will be there in a flash.
12. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
13. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,
Men of the World.
(space..)
Siiighhh..!!thats all i can say..
-the girl.
I was talking about the whole issue to a friend who got married last year in April..and whose poor wife was cursing herself as to why did she affirm for the wedding to be held on a FIFA year,and that too prior to the World Cup..I could come to a few conclusions which my friend declared..the conditions(the only conditions,rather) in which the men would watch the matches..and how their girlfriends or wives should not be interfering (here,genuinely disturbing..)in the matches,with their television sets..and so on and so forth..I m just penning down the bold and the blatant statements..(kindly shift back on time..a scene of say 8th june'06 and imagine as if the guy is himself claiming the following..
I am alive and kickin....But its June 8th and that means World Cup is almost here....wooohooo!!
Please forward this to your girlfriends, wives, etc.
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
8. Please do NOT ask me the rules of soccer when the game is on! If you really want to know, look it up on the Internet. The computer is all yours when the game is on (only when the game is on). And don't ask silly, stupid questions like "Oh, why is he walking out the field?" (He got a red card, dammit).
9. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
10. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go, b) I will not go, and c) I will not go.
11. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game and his television and sound system is better than mine, we will be there in a flash.
12. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
13. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,
Men of the World.
(space..)
Siiighhh..!!thats all i can say..
-the girl.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Mind trains...
the mind trains baffle me..and the destiny and conclusive thought further...a few days back, i was watching a popular TV show with the name The Apprentice.there were two finalists ...one British turned American and the other a Jewish American.The latter had always mentioned his Jewish religion..and so it stuck in my head.i believed that the latter would win (coz he was young and a good strategist) ....he lost.
Could religion be a criteria for selecting people? how much hold on our thought process does religion have?(my mind trains started moving all over by now). In a country like America which is melting pot of so many many kinds of people...how many really hold onto their religions? how and what do they identify themselves with?being raised here in India...we know that we are not just Indians...we are from this caste..this sub caste..this state..etc etc.... we have a WHOLE flow chart coming to us...and everytime ...we talk or think or organise...we work along this very flowchart...
how do I think..? i think first like myself..then like my surname, then like my caste ..then my religion ..and so on..at EVERY level ..i modify myself...to suit and fit ...and ultimately....am i ME?and then ....as i kept on this line....those words emerged...words that were conclusive and truely something that amazed me ..i said..
"Tradition can either Pull u Down...or Keep u Grounded...its all about perspectives"..
is it? ...
-the girl.
Could religion be a criteria for selecting people? how much hold on our thought process does religion have?(my mind trains started moving all over by now). In a country like America which is melting pot of so many many kinds of people...how many really hold onto their religions? how and what do they identify themselves with?being raised here in India...we know that we are not just Indians...we are from this caste..this sub caste..this state..etc etc.... we have a WHOLE flow chart coming to us...and everytime ...we talk or think or organise...we work along this very flowchart...
how do I think..? i think first like myself..then like my surname, then like my caste ..then my religion ..and so on..at EVERY level ..i modify myself...to suit and fit ...and ultimately....am i ME?and then ....as i kept on this line....those words emerged...words that were conclusive and truely something that amazed me ..i said..
"Tradition can either Pull u Down...or Keep u Grounded...its all about perspectives"..
is it? ...
-the girl.
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