Monday, March 31, 2008

My Religion.Your Anthem.

It is a beautiful thing. Between you and me. Between the distance. Beyond love. Beyond hate. Silence. Our language. Your anthem. When did it start? The language of silence. Between you and me. I fail to trace it back in time. Was it after the first smile? Was it after the last exchange of glances? Was it in the pathway? Was it in a dream? Silence. Your anthem.

I fear to sleep. Not that I will be hounded by nightmares. Not because I might skip a dream. I fear to sleep. Maybe because I might miss the silence. Maybe I would stop listening to your silence. But this journey goes on. Between you and me. On parallel lines. In silence. Your anthem.

When you walk down the lane. I see the charm you sprinkle all over. I hear the silence that you throw only at me. I search for your eyes. Hoping at least they will speak to me. Your eyes miss my existence. I stay there patient. In silence. Your anthem.

I'm sitting here. Under the scorching sun. Looking into the bright sky. Squinting my eyes. Wishing at the clear sky. For the rain. You love the rain. I could love it too. Just because you will smile when it rains. Just because you will smile at me.

Sometimes I wake up from my daze. Thinking you would have spoken a word or two. That I could overhear your voice. Just a bit. Just enough to cease the noise within me. With your silence. Your anthem.

Have you noticed that the best conversations that we have ever had was the silence that we share? Isn't it beautiful? I think so. Why is that I still love the silent conversation? Why is that I still love to catch you unawares when you look at me from a distant planet? That moment. Those fluttering eyes move away from me. Staring silence into my soul.

You stole my shadow. I'm here trying to steal your silence. I dreamt. Of a clear blue sky. A pristine beach. Untouched shells on the sand. You. Me. Us. I woke up. I still saw the clear blue sky. You. Me. And silence. Your anthem. These were times I wished I never woke up. Woke up to face the silence.

I look at the clock. Time flees. I stare at it in dismay. I pulled it out. Crashed it on the floor. I sit beside the shattered pieces. Time still kept ticking. Out of my life. Out of this story. Maybe I should break the silence. Maybe I should replace the clock. Maybe I need to replace my life. For all the silence shared. Silence. Your anthem.

I chase that tiny smile of yours. The curve on your lips. There too swings the culprit. Silence. I see it around you. Sad. That only I bear the brunt of your silence. Your anthem. I look at your anklet that you wear only on your left leg. A tiny bell clings to it. You walk by. I listen to that. At least it wouldn't shy away and throw silence on me. How blessed am I. The tinkles of your trinkets silence my moment. My dream. The loudness of your silence deafens my moment. My existence.

This silence. Sometimes is deafening. Sometimes gives me the high. Sometimes pokes me. Sometimes strengthens me. Most of the times it hurts me. But I know. This journey is long. I just will travel along with a song. A silent song.

Coffee in my hand. Search in my eyes. You stand beside me. I miss you so much. I see the beauty of how you stir your coffee. Hurriedly. How you stir me. Silently. I smile. You smile too. Silently. I wait for one single word. I get many instead. All in silence. I fail to decipher. I sit there stirring my coffee. While you walk away stirring my soul. In silence. Your anthem.

Will we break this silence? I hope not. Maybe I have started to like it this way. Maybe I feel this is the way of my life. Your life. Our life. In silence. One fine day. If the silence was ever to be broken. I would miss it. Those quick moments of silence brushing each other. Those long hours of conversations. Mere silence. Promise me. Just this. Just this time. That this silence will not be broken. It has become a habit. A daily affair. My religion. Your anthem.

-the girl.

2 comments:

the happy prince said...

just one question beauty, who is the other person in this silence? but none the less, i know what u mean. i have shared this with one girl too. u know who.

the girl said...

yes. regardless of the person, the emotion is what counts. quite a unique one to experience.thanks for commenting btw. :)