Friday, April 04, 2008

thoughts..private ones.

another mail received article..by aks.
The right to privacy, like most other rights, reflects a simple human need. A life without privacy is unthinkable. Some people need more privacy than others, but everyone needs some time alone to be accountable only to oneself, time to think, to reconsider the things one believes and the reasons for those beliefs.
No two people develop feelings or think or grow in the same way. Protecting the right to privacy in any relationship is one way of instructing that each person can get his bearings and be himself.

People need a private life, a private world of their own, places where they can see friends, have conversations, maintain cherished interests, hobbies, amusements and sports; places where they can continue to be and find other parts of the person they want to be and need to be, besides the parts that the person they are living with brings out. The right to privacy is the right to take a vacation alone, to spend time alone with yourself each day, each week, each year.

Sometimes asserting one’s right to privacy feels threatening to the other person. When relationships become frayed and loose ends, partners have a way of regarding such requests for privacy as a wish to desert. Sometimes they are, but even then each person still has the right to be by himself to think the situation through alone. When the trust needed to keep a relationship working, wears so thin that privacy is compromised, the relationship suffers doubly, for then it is not only difficult to be each other’s but also a problem to be one’s own!

You have a right to keep part of your life secret, any part. Your thoughts, actions, wishes are yours to keep private if you want. Not all thoughts need to be or should be shared. Openess in a relationship is a desirable goal but not in all things or at all times.. Sometimes a partner needs more time to think before he/she shares. Being open indiscriminately can be an excuse to be crude and to hurt the other person with information that is shared only as an act of anger. Wishing to keep a thought secret is merely a way of saying you are unsure of what you are feeling at the moment and do not wish to share it yet.

When there is no privacy in a relationship there can be no real intimacy. Only two people who are whole, independent beings in their own right can give to each other. Only of a person has the right to refuse to give is his gift worth taking. If one person is always obligated to be giving there is no delight for the person being given to.

If one has no right to privacy what joy is there in sharing?
-----
-the girl.

5 comments:

SaIk said...

nice :).. very thoughtful of u !!

the girl said...

thanks saik. i got it as a forward.

Vinho said...

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Rahul Saha said...

I agree. Openness is overrated. Its absurd to think that everything can be shared.

The Happy Prince said...

I wonder if the last few paras of this post have got anything to do with our chat before the exams the other day.

"places where they can continue to be and find other parts of the person they want to be and need to be, besides the parts that the person they are living with brings out. The right to privacy is the right to take a vacation alone, to spend time alone with yourself each day..."

Loved particularly those lines and many lines that emote similar feelings all over the post.

The Happy Prince